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maintain the light

by maintain the light

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1.
. 00:09
1. (0:09) waking up is what death is like
2.
the gift 01:09
“just one misjudged misstep and it could be the end” – bh 2. the gift (1:09) [one slip and a thousand feet to nowhere] ø try to take the ten from yr friend she’ll give it right to you ø unasked expect no less reseal the gift that you’ll give back ø i can’t believe you would leave when we had so much to do ø unfold the plan the map collapse it back we have ten tasks ø if this way is blocked there will be another way
3.
waking up 01:05
“Last night I had a bad dream about being stressed and lost in an airport and couldn't make things better. It was stressful, but ended abruptly when I quickly woke up and realized those problems I was having were not real. It occurred to me that death might be like that -- suddenly exiting from the trivial things we sometimes think are so important” – bh 3. waking up (1:05) waking up is what death is like ø searching sweating airplane escaping ø running with baggage alone awaking ø can’t find boarding time shaking ø pacing waste trivial erasing
4.
“return to yr childhood / and kick out the bottom” – da levy “ancestor’s breath as wind thru my teeth / it’s maybe true or not – better you believe it” – bh 4. shower in sweat & spit(1:49) [it’s the same story i’ve heard since i was a kid, it’s a folktale a myth ø i heard the same story when i was a kid too, funny thing is i believed it] ø steady the spigot will spit ø stand under sputtering lips ø trickle from headhair to footprint and the flowing thru ø what’s spiraled down is spat back out ø sweatsoaked purified h2o ø open mouth sewn up closed ø chloroplastless still we grow ø tubmold can’t crawl into souls ø thoughts return unstained unknown ø keep singing these songs turn old ø keep washing when the water’s cold ø deodorize reset the time ø another day to coat with slime ø towel pat down rhythmically dried ø fibers hold same sweat from last night
5.
x's are o's 00:50
“All our knowledge brings us nearer to our ignorance, / All our ignorance brings us nearer to death, / But nearness to death no nearer to God” – ts eliot “nothing is / But what is not” – macbeth (Macbeth I.iii.141-2) 5. x’s are o’s (0:50) the tombstone dressed for succession impressive briefcase unhinged during lesson ø all the xs are os not depressed at sorrow all the xs are os i won’t sing what i don’t ø across the seal eyes leaking pennies swallow the prize knives regifted wedding ø ø ø up again is down my head is round the when is where i’m in
6.
“Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted” (mt 5:5) “Life is so strong a vision, not one of it shall fail…We shall watch for the promised words from the Adirondacks…To have been made alive is so chief a thing…were it not riddled by partings, it were too divine” – emily dickinson 6. the pest must eat too (2:19) sweep the street – there’s tires coming ø sweat means heat – is just fire failing ø seeking out speaking out loud as mouse I shriek I shout sing so loud the husk will shake and seed and sprout ø uprooted roots will thicker shoot as aphids chew leaves green renews and if new seeds don’t germinate bugs have dreams and both decay ø fortress that rots from the bottom moats wash out the sunken blossom as we sneak into the garden to unweave the spider webs ø [we hear the jugulars of the country fly in the wind and vanish with a cry (– t merton)] ø this one will ø this one won’t ø this one will this one won’t but tend to both like fishers hold lines in hands hands in lines failing means that I still tried
7.
the same 01:46
"it's kind of a lost, or it's kind of an ignored idea, you know, the idea of magnificent failure rather than a kind of mediocre success" - peter croft 7. the same (1:46) the morning – every morning every day ø the crossword – on the toilet on the train ø newspaper – fingers turning grey ø thinking of something to eat sticking it between yr teeth ø flashing puzzle swallowing someone else is answering ø the thunder – where to go after you came ø the summer – every evening it will rain ø the sky will – separate and stay the same ø staring trying not to blink thinking of something to drink wet cement yr stomach sinks ø [prowling the wasteland a prehistoric beast in a nuclear age]
8.
the fly 02:43
“there interposed a fly – with blue – uncertain stumbling buzz – between the light – and me – and then the windows failed – and then i could not see to see” – emily dickinson 8. the fly (2:44) we cannot stay focused on what it is we’re focused on ø ø ø visible bacterial run in place and eat yr full ø hunger that calls for itself to rattle round and fill the skull ø houses that protect us from what it is we must confront ø field to beckon back and forth ø i know i’ll run from sun to sun ø hills to tell me i’m far off ø clouds to give me dimension ø burn up in the lamplight dark spots of light in vision blocked ø awake alert distracted dead compound eye antenna head ø fly buzz is out of tune with my breathing in this room breathing out this peaceful gloom exhaled innards are consumed ø hand in handshake turns to sand a crushing grip gushing plans ø we cannot stay focused on what it is we’re focused on
9.
“Less is more better. And more better is less beta” - bh 9. slippery peel (0:33) i can’t remember what i came here for or where here is or who’s at the door ø repeat the words i think i heard ø i think you think my thoughts in words ø birds that swirl thru curtain hurls my knees name nothing words are words ø words and worlds ø banana peel splattering my face
10.
swim icarus 01:50
“the monosyllable of the clock is loss, loss, loss, unless you devote your heart to its opposition” – tennessee williams “you can measure yr heart rate but you can’t measure heart” - bh 10. swim icarus (1:50) celery incisors invite a bite thru the sun at its rising that belongs to you ø nothing chases me from failure ø run run we’ll meet the sun fly fly unmelted eyes ø swim on swim thru the tide tries climbing ø ø run run fly fly ø ø run down the words that write earth’s curve ø ø run fly
11.
looking down 01:08
“…if I was blind, I would be out here all the same. I don’t go into a temple for the gold-plated ornaments” - bh 11. looking down (1:08) bumblebee will stumble free the ice ages melt all for me ø my iron grasp is slippery it’s sublimating ø vapor chases space thru sound the clouds rebound and who knows how ø if i let you go you hurtle closer to me ø we float in each other’s arms causing and preventing harm ø why should i be scared if i don’t look down? i hold you and you hold me and you hold me and i hold you and why should we be scared if we don’t look down? ø servants surf on bubblegum ø the freedoms to are freedoms from
12.
shark belly 02:19
“Thy tyrant fang that slays the stranger, spares / The bloody brothers of thy cruel clan; / While man against his fellows spreads his snares-- / Then most delighted when his prey is man” – thomas russell “I hold a rather dim view of The Man…a rather high view of man” - bh 12. shark belly (2:19) [if a shark stops swimming it will die – don’t stop swimming] ø shark in the belly ate his brother before his mother’s work was done ø we gnash our razor teeth but won’t bite our own hungry tongues ø he’s a puppy all he needs is his belly to be scratched ø spiders vivisect the flies but they expect that ø no hard feelings when the gazelle the lion attacks ø sisters brothers slash each other’s backs ø chitchat lather in the soapy gossip bath but remorse means that you and i aren’t vampirebats ø cloaked with colorblind chameleons ø no choice to reveal their disappearance ø crawl from camouflaged conditions into the one bright sun who listens ø [maintain the light and shine it around] ø “see the shadow, do what’s right, time to leave this town” - bh

about

ø
maintain the light recorded before, during, and after ben horne’s ascent of and death on palcaraju – july 2012.
jana, lily & monica sang. math & trip wrote and sang the songs, stole the samples, and played the instruments.

“see the flame, maintain the light, and shine it around” – ben horne

“Cowards die many times before their deaths; / The valiant never taste of death but once. / Of all the wonders that I yet have heard, / It seems to me most strange that men should fear; / Seeing that death, a necessary end, / Will come when it will come” – caesar (Julius Caesar II.ii.32-7)

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released August 22, 2012

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maintain the light Annandale, Virginia

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